


That One Night

by Rakshi



Series: New Dawn [1]
Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-21
Updated: 2011-11-21
Packaged: 2017-10-26 08:47:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/281038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rakshi/pseuds/Rakshi





	That One Night

Series: New Dawn (A trilogy)  
Title: New Dawn: That One Night (Part One)  
Rating: NC17  
Pairing: Sean Astin/Elijah Wood  
Summary: Sam is there to help Sean find his way when he feels lost in darkness.  


 **Edit: 2003-02-12 This story.. even tho it is my first.. is my 'baby'. My absolute favorite story out of all that I have written. Even now.. 30+ stories later.. 'That One Night' is the one I love.**

That One Night -

I want it all to go away I want to be alone  
sympathy's wasted on my hollow shell  
I feel there's nothing left to fight for  
No reason for a cause  
And I can't hear your voice and I can't feel you near

Lost in the darkness of a land...  
Lost - Sarah McLachlan

Scene: (From The Two Towers) Sam believes Frodo to have been killed by Shelob. Devastated, Sam has taken Sting and the Ring and vowed to complete their quest and destroy the ring before returning to Frodo's body to end his life. This is his choice.

 

Frodo was dead. And Elijah Wood AS a dead Frodo looked damned convincing. A bit too convincing for Sean. Unaware, his hand drifted out to gently touch Elijah's arm, covered in fake spider web. The "corpse" immediately flashed him a cross-eyed mugging grin and winked.

"Jeez, Lij!" Sean muttered, half startled. "That's not helpful." He hated this scene. It was emotionally demanding and Elijah's goofing around was distracting him when he least needed it.

"I'm sorry, Sean," Elijah said softly. "You just look so . . . " His voice drifted off and he shook his head, as though the explanation was unnecessary. "I just wanted to tease you out of it I guess."

Sean nodded understanding and, after patting Elijah's arm again, rose and walked away a few paces. Sighing, he looked off into the distance. "Why am I having such a hard time with this?" he muttered to himself. "Why am I dreading this so much?"

He turned and looked at Elijah, who was sitting quietly looking down at his hands. "Poor Sam." Sean thought. "This is his dark night of the soul. Being broken and battered on Mt. Doom will be nothing compared to this because, at least, he'll have Frodo with him." Sean shuddered. "Jesus, I don't want to do this to him."

Elijah looked up at him and it was clear that he saw Sean's internal struggle. He could be a goofy kid at times, but there was an emotional depth there that few people really recognized. He had an instinct for feelings that was unerring. One he didn't hesitate to use to his advantage. Elijah half rose to his feet, clearly meaning to come to him, but Sean held out his hand, palm raised. "Stay put." His voice didn't leave any room for discussion and Elijah sank back.

"He'll be so alone." Sean thought, his mind turning back to Sam. "Just like I'd be without . . ." He let the thought trail off. He had no idea how to finish that sentence. None of the definitions in his life that he'd counted on for so long seemed to make sense anymore. Nothing in his life had the name he'd once given it with such confidence. "Confidence?" Sean thought. "Or was it arrogance."

He heard Elijah calling his name. "Sean? Hey! C'mere a minute." He sounded worried, but Sean ignored him. He didn't want to lose his connection with Sam.

Peter approached and asked they were ready and then the cameras were rolling.

Sean said the words and went through the motions that the scene required of him. To anyone watching it unfold, it was clear he was in agony. When he begged Frodo not to go where his Sam could not follow, most of the crew was in tears. Billy Boyd, standing on the sidelines watching, was stunned by his friend's performance. "God, Sean." he whispered softly.

Sean, however, was not aware of their admiration. Not even truly aware of their presence. His whole world had become a huge, suffocating abyss of pain. The overwhelming feelings of loss and sadness that the scene demanded cracked open something real inside him. Something he couldn't control. "Oh no!" Sean moaned inwardly. "Jesus, I can't lose it now."

He glanced back to where Elijah lay, thinking that seeing him might appease his heart and permit him some level of calm. But instead the sight bared his feelings as nothing else could have done. "Gone. Lost. I'm all alone now." He fought not to cry out. "No! That's not true. It's just a scene in a movie!"

But the sight of Frodo was mesmerizing and Sean felt himself becoming spellbound by Sam's feelings. A rush of numbness captured his mind and he looked blankly at the sword in his hand. "Why, this is Sting" he murmured. "This is Mr. Frodo's Sting." Memory flooded him with images, stunning him. Sam's memory. "Oh god," he moaned in anguish, "Frodo."

Sam's breath was gone. His world was in ruin. The only desire that remained was to die beside his Master's body. To take his hand and follow him. But first he would do what Frodo wanted done. He would destroy the vile ring. He would do this last thing, this last service, for the one he loved. He'd hurry and do it quickly. Then they'd be together.

Voices rushed toward him. Odd voices. Saying things he didn't understand. Sam wheeled, Sting in hand, as Peter approached. "Sean!" he said happily. "Great job, man!" But Sean didn't see or hear him. Billy ran up beside Peter, arms outstretched for a hug of congratulations, but stopped dead when he saw the stricken face. "Sean?"

Sean, lost in Sam, vaguely recognized Pippin's voice through the roaring numbness in his head. But Peter was a blur, and to Sean's frenzied mind, a dangerous presence. He screamed and raised the sword, whirling to stand between Peter and Frodo's body. "Don't go near him, you devil! Don't you dare to touch him!" Peter ducked just in time, barely avoiding Sean's charge, and grabbed his arm, knocking Sting to the ground.

Sean spun frantically, seeking the sword, and saw Billy's face. Confused, he stopped and leaned toward Pippin who reached out to touch his face.

"Sean?" a frightened Billy whispered. "What's wrong?"

"Pip?" Sean asked. "Why are you here? How are you here? Oh, Pip. Fro . . . Frodo's . . ." Defeated, Sean looked down, and as he did he glimpsed the ring around his neck and was filled with a terrible rage. "Get off of me!" he screamed, tearing at the evil, hated thing and hurling it away from him. Seeking escape, he staggered to his feet and wheeled. But there was nowhere to go.

"Sean!" Billy cried, grabbing for Sean's arm, hands, any hold he could get. The stage fell away into a substantial drop-off right behind him. He was terrified that his friend was going to pivot over the side. Cursing, Peter struggled to grasp Sean too, but he had jerked out of reach. Billy managed to snag a handful of Sean's jacket, and as he dragged Sean to his knees he yelled, "Elijah! Get the fuck over here! Elijah!"

As he grabbed Sean's shoulders, Billy glimpsed Elijah tearing himself away from the crew, who were untangling him from fake spider web. He had seen the struggle and was beginning to realize that something was wrong. He began to run towards them yelling Sean's name.

In the background Billy heard Peter asking someone to bring a car to take them home. Sean lowered his face into his hands and began to rock back and forth, moaning softly. "It's so dark. The light's all gone." Billy heard him whisper mindlessly. "Why are you here? Pip? Pippin? Frodo's . . . Oh my god, he's . . . " He moaned again and grabbed at his hair with both hands. Terrified, Billy shook him hard. "Sean, no! Please come back, man. Elijah's all right! He's right here."

Elijah scrabbled to his side. He pulled on Sean's hands and ducked his head to see into his eyes. "Sean! What's wrong? Billy? What's the matter with him? Sean!" he said, his voice scared. He turned questioningly to Billy who shook his head. "I don't KNOW! He did the scene and he was brilliant! Then it's like he lost it. Like he's not here. Like he can't snap out of being... Sam."

"Sean?" Elijah said softly. "Please talk to me." He lifted Sean's face, forcing him to meet Elijah's eyes. "You're scaring me."

For Sean the world was a blur. The raw agony he felt was soul deep, but there were other things too, slowly dragging on his consciousness. What had happened? Wasn't there something he had to do? Why were these people trying to stop him?

He stared at Elijah without really seeing him, then pulled away. He had to go! Elijah blindly reached out a hand to clutch at Billy's jacket. "He doesn't know me, Billy," he said in a strangled voice.

"Talk to him, Lij!" Billy begged. "He'll come around. Talk to him."

Elijah pulled Sean into his arms. "Sean! It's me! Don't you know me? Please come back."

Sean reached his hand up and touched Elijah's face. "Lijah?" He felt consciousness dragging at him and winced away from the pain. But Elijah's arms tightened around him refusing to let go. Billy's fingers were digging into his arm. "Sean! Talk to us!"

Sean drew a trembling breath. Sam was slipping away. Sean suddenly felt how dear Sam was to him and for a moment an aching sense of loss filled him. Sam was slipping away.

The next moment brought awareness of Elijah's arms around him. The reality of his presence, alive, and saying his name in an anxious voice. Turning slightly, he saw Billy's worried face inches from his own and he leaned forward slightly to touch his forehead to Billy's.

His arms slid around Elijah and pulled him close, still haunted by the image of Elijah as Frodo. Infinitely beautiful and gone where he couldn't follow. "Oh, Lij," he said softly.

"Sean." Elijah murmured into his shoulder. "Thank god."

Sean felt a semblance of control returning with the awareness of Elijah and Billy so close to him. "Shh. Shh." he whispered, rocking Elijah slowly. "It's OK. God, I'm sorry."

Billy, seeing Elijah beginning to weaken, pulled on his sleeve. "Lijah! Hold it together! We need to get him on his feet and out of here!"

Peter, who had the same idea, approached Sean from the other side and hauled he and Elijah to their feet in one motion. Elijah was still clutching Sean but Peter gently pulled his arms away and handed him over to Billy. He grabbed Sean's shoulders and stared into his eyes for a long moment. "Do you need a doctor? You scared the living hell out of me! If you do, tell me! I'll have one brought in right now."

Sean shook his head, his hand reaching out blindly to capture Elijah from Billy. "No. No doctor. I just wanna rest." He felt Elijah quietly standing beside him and managed a smile. But the director was unconvinced. Sean was having trouble catching his breath and he looked deathly pale. "The car's on the way." Peter said slowly. "I'm going to stop around to check on you later."

Sean nodded. "I'm sorry, PJ," he said in a shaky voice. "The line just got so blurry. I didn't know where he ended and I started." It was more than that. Sean knew it was more than that. He felt Elijah catch his fingers and tug at him. "Go now." Elijah said softly. "Please. Go now."

"I'm glad you're back." Peter said. He nudged Sean in the arm and smiled at him. "The other little bastard tried to whack me with a sword!"

Sean rewarded him with a small smile and started to walk away between Elijah and Billy. Then he stopped and turned to look at the director. "Did I totally fuck up the shot? Did we get anything worth keeping?" Peter looked at him, shaking his head. "We got the shot all right. Most amazing fucking performance I've ever seen."

Sean shook his head. "Performance?" he thought to himself. "It wasn't a performance."

As they turned Peter grabbed Billy's arm and pulled him aside. "Listen, Billy, I'm still worried about him. I don't like the way he looks. He's showing symptoms that could mean shock. You keep an eye open and call me if there's any trouble." Billy nodded and staggered after Elijah and Sean.

They shed their wigs, prosthetics and costumes as quickly as possible and the ride home was quiet. Sean leaned his back against Elijah, but said nothing. His breath was ragged and his body winced as though he was trying desperately to shake himself awake from a bad dream.

And though Billy had half-expected him to be upset, Elijah was completely composed. His hands constantly smoothed Sean's hair, but after his initial fright, he had quickly calmed himself. Billy wondered what he was thinking.

"Billy, please stay with us for awhile. OK?"

"Sure, man," Billy replied. "I'd like to see him get tucked in."

By the time they got to Elijah's place Sean seemed more himself. But Billy still worried. If anything, he looked even paler than he had earlier and it was obvious he was still badly shaken.

Elijah deposited Sean on the couch and walked into the kitchen. Billy knelt in front of Sean and touched his arm. "You OK, baby?" he asked softly.

He felt Sean's body twitch at his touch, but Sean nodded and patted Billy's head. "I'm ok. Just strung out and tired. "How long was I . . ." he paused as if struggling for the right words ". . . out of it?"

"Just a few seconds, really." Billy replied. "Seemed like longer though."

"Yeah." Sean replied. "It sure did."

Elijah returned with a glass half full of dark liquid. "Wine." he said, handing it to Sean. "It's all I have but it might work to take the edge off." Sean took the glass with a nod and sipped. The wine tasted good. Strong and heady. He continued to drink it down as Elijah perched next to him on the couch.

Billy eyed them both. "You want me to stay? Or are you two all right."

"You go get some rest." Elijah said, jumping up to hug him. "I'll get him tucked in."

Billy squeezed Sean tight, feeling his body still shaking as though he was freezing. "Take care, man. I love ya."

"Love you too, Pip." Sean murmured, nuzzling his head. "Come see us tomorrow."

Billy nodded at the fireplace. "Light that thing," he suggested to Lij. "He's shaking all over."

Elijah nodded and moved toward the fireplace. He heard the door close quietly after Billy as he heaped wood in the fireplace and stuffed paper under it. He leaned back, eyeing his creation. Satisfied, he started searching his pockets for a lighter. Elijah sighed. No lighter. He was as famous for never having a lighter as he was for constantly stealing the lighters of anyone and everyone around him.

He heard a soft laugh behind him and spun to see Sean waving his lighter at him. "Pretty poor fire starting technique." Sean observed with a slow smile.

"Oh yeah?" Elijah challenged. "Watch this!" He reached in back of the woodpile and pulled out a can of lighter fluid - the kind used to light barbecues. He quickly doused the wood in the fireplace and while the words of warning were still forming on Sean's lips, spun the wheel of his lighter.

WOOMP! The wood caught in a fairly impressive blast of flame.

"Yike!" Elijah yelped, jumping back.

"Jesus, Elijah!" Sean reached up and yanked him away from the, now blazing, fireplace. "That's NOT how you start a fire unless you're looking to burn the damned place down!"

Elijah shrugged as he flopped down on the couch next to Sean. "Worked, didn't it? Got a fire, don't we?"

Sean's only response was to shake his head and sip some more of the wine. He stared into the fire while Elijah watched him closely. Sean gave him a sideways glance and immediately wished that he hadn't. Worry had turned Elijah's blue eyes dark. As dark as the night that was falling outside their windows.

"He's so beautiful." Sean thought. He turned his gaze back to the fire, torn between desire to fall head-first into the enchantment and a crazed need to bolt from the room and run until he dropped.

Elijah leaned in and touched Sean's arm, feeling him shudder under his fingers. "Sean?"

"Yeah."

"What happened today?"

Sean continued to stare at the flames. "Dunno. Guess I kind of lost it. Just tired, I suspect."

Elijah could hear the effort Sean was putting into sounding composed and he felt his throat tighten painfully. God, it hurt when he felt Sean's wall going up. Hurt to be shut out. Pushed away.

"Why do you DO that?!" he demanded. "Why cant you just tell me how you feel? Why do you always have to come off like some kind of invincible rock?"

"Oh yeah." Sean observed dryly. "I was one hell of an invincible rock today wasn't I."

Elijah sat silently. Waiting.

"And I can't tell you how I feel because it's too . . . too . . . painful. Too hard."

Elijah leaned forward and pressed his face against Sean's arm, reaching up to pet his hair. "C'mon, Sam" he said softly. "You can tell your Frodo."

He heard Sean catch his breath. "Don't, Lij," he pleaded. "Please don't. That's the last thing I can take right now. I don't want to even THINK about Sam and Frodo!"

Now it was Elijah's turn to catch his breath. He leaned back and stared at Sean, wide-eyed. "You don't MEAN that." he said in a wounded voice. "You can't mean that. I couldn't fucking stand it if you meant that."

Sean's hands around the wineglass twitched so violently that the amber liquid splashed and spilled on his fingers. "Damn it!" He was suffocating again. Losing control again. "I can't feel these things!" he thought frantically. "But, I can't not feel them either!"

He wheeled suddenly to face Elijah. He felt a terrible fear dragging on him. "Jesus! With my family history, a psychotic episode is no joke!"

He had to make Elijah stop talking. His voice was tearing at Sean. Revealing too much of what he didn't want revealed. He had to make him stop. "Stop it! God damn it, Elijah, you have to stop it!" Looking up he saw the blue eyes go all shiny.

"What am I doing wrong, Sean?" he asked miserably. "Please tell me. I'll stop. Whatever it is. I'll stop. I'd never do anything to make you mad at me. You know I love you. Please talk to me," he begged, pulling on Sean's arm.

Sean's hands reached out convulsively and grabbed Elijah's hair. Before Elijah could react Sean pulled him forward and ground his their foreheads together. "You have to stop," he said almost into Elijah's mouth.

"Control." Sean thought desperately. "I have to get control." But he couldn't breathe. If he could just take one breath free from the feelings that threatened to overwhelm him, it would be ok. He could handle it then. But the sight of Elijah, the sound of him . . .

"I cant breathe! I need to breathe!" he gasped and pushed Elijah's head back to look into his eyes. "You have to stop," he said again in a hoarse whisper.

"Stop what?" the rational part of Sean's mind questioned. "Stop being who and what he is simply because you can't bear it?"

Understanding flooded through Elijah and he felt tears sear into in his eyes. This is what he'd wanted from the day they met, and never believed for a moment he'd ever have. But the price was almost too great to be born. To see Sean in this kind of pain. To see what this struggle had done to him.

"Does he know, yet, that this is what he wants?" Elijah wondered. "And if I show him, will it be the end of me?"

"Stop." Sean choked again.

Elijah nodded slowly and took Sean's face into his hands. "I know." he murmured to Sean. "I will. It's OK." Leaning forward just a little he gently brushed his lips against Sean's. He heard a small, choked whimper and felt Sean catch his breath again.

"To hell with it!" Elijah thought angrily. "If it's the end of me, then it's the fucking end of me. He's all that matters."

"Please, Lij" he pleaded in a voice filled with tears. "Please don't."

Elijah leaned back just enough to see that Sean's face was filled with anguish and he felt as though his own heart was breaking. And yet he felt Sean's hands, still twined in his hair, showing no signs of letting go.

Sean's whole body was clenched with tension and shaking uncontrollably. Elijah leaned forward and kissed him again, and again he heard the small, choked whimper. But he also felt just a little of the tension ease. Sean's fingers were clenching and unclenching in Elijah's hair.

"This is the way." Elijah thought. "Don't give him time to think. Just be gentle and let him feel you love him. He'll be ok then. He doesn't know it yet. He doesn't believe it. He's too scared. But he will."

"Soft." Elijah breathed into Sean's mouth "So soft. Kiss you so soft." He murmured against Sean's lips. "So soft. So sweet. Seanie… mmmm."

Sean moaned, still fighting to breathe. But he released Elijah's hair and curled his arms around his waist, pulling Elijah down next to him on the couch. He felt Elijah's lips on his and heard his gentle murmurings. The devastating pain in his chest began to slowly subside. He didn't have to gasp for breath anymore. He felt himself relaxing into Elijah, loving the feeling of his gentle kisses.

Elijah's voice was almost chanting. Melodic. Rhythmic. "Sean. Sean."

More kisses.

"Love you. Love you, Seanie..." he breathed. His hands brushed across Sean's forehead and caressed his cheek.

"Love you so much. Sean. Sean."

"Oh god," Sean sighed, pulling Elijah as close to him as he could. "I could breathe you in like air." He felt his eyes filling with tears and the most astounded joy welled up inside him.

Elijah kissed Sean's eyes, his hair, his mouth, never stopping his gentle whispers so filled with love. Sean knew he had never felt anything like this before. Elijah's every kiss and whisper healed another wounded place inside him. Eased the pain. Soothed and comforted. Renewed his soul.

He'd always believed that if he ever really kissed Elijah, the sexual tension would shatter him. The fear of what this kind of joining would do to him had haunted his mind and heart for months. He would never have believed it could be this loving. He never would have believed that this was the way to peace.

He'd never felt so cherished.

"Lij?" he asked.

"Yeah?" came the quiet whisper against his cheek.

"I've felt so afraid."

"I know."

Sean considered this for a moment. I didn't know he knew. Revelations.

"Lij"?

"Yeah?"

"Now what?"

To his absolute amazement, Elijah giggled. "Guess that's up to you, Astin" he sighed against Sean's ear. "I've made my feelings clear I think."

Sean leaned back to look into his eyes. "And what," he said in a scared voice, "if I said that this was it. That we had to stop now and that nothing more could happen. What if I said that, Lijah?"

"Then we'd stop now," Elijah said, shrugging. "Though" he added, snuggling, "I'd probably try to talk you into a few more kisses."

He leaned back to smile into Sean's eyes. "Think I could?"

Sean pulled him close. "Highly likely," he admitted. He closed his eyes and sighed, feeling Elijah's lips brush gently against his jaw, his eyes, back to his mouth. "Bliss," Sean thought, ecstatically. He could drown in this feeling and not care. Not care about anything or anyone.

Anyone. Sean sighed. Admitting the possibility of others was a mistake. Sean felt a twinge of guilt and sadness.

"You know," he said, easing Elijah away from him, "it's not just us that we have to consider." He felt the joy start to slip away. All the pain and sadness began to creep back in.

"Wait." Elijah said. "Stop."

He grabbed Sean's face in his hands again forcing Sean to look into his eyes. "OK." he said. "You're right. There are others to consider. But I have something to say." Then he stopped and lowered his head.

Sean waited, watching Elijah's face. When he looked up Sean saw the love there. But there was struggle too. And pain.

"I know you're not . . . completely happy there," he said softly.

He pulled away from Sean a little and gazed at him. His eyes burned into Sean's. Intense and calm. Sean felt how important it was to him to say this right.

"This isn't some, fucking, roll in the hay." Elijah murmured. "This is my life!" He bit his lip forcing himself not to fall apart. He leaned closer to Sean's upturned face. "No one," he said softly, "loves you more than I do. No one cherishes you more. No one cares more deeply about your happiness. No one. You don't have to make love to me. Not tonight. Not ever. But you do have to know that what I've just said is true.

He leaned down and touched Sean with another soft kiss. "If I know you believe me, nothing else matters."

He cupped Sean's face in one hand and leaned down brushing their foreheads together. "Do you believe me?" he asked softly.

Sean was drowning in blue eyes a half inch from his own. "Yes" he breathed softly. "God, Lij, I do believe you." He pulled Elijah against his shoulder. "Just stay here for a minute. OK? Just lay here with me?" Elijah was silent but nestled closer to Sean.

"It's so amazing," Sean thought, stroking his hair gently. "I do believe him. He really does love me that much. God, it's so different from . . ." He cut the thought off half finished.

"Where did these feelings come from?" he wondered. And as if in answer to his question a word echoed in his mind.. "Sam."

"God, Lij." he whispered. "It's no damn wonder I schizoed into Sam today. He can feel all the things I won't let myself feel. Or that I've felt, but labeled something else. Or denied I felt at all. Sam doesn't question. He just feels. Love, grief, pain. He doesn't judge any of it. He's not afraid of any of it. He just feels it. When I knew he was slipping away, I felt sad that all of that would be lost to me."

"But it's not!" Elijah protested, pushing away to stare into Sean's eyes. "How can you say that?! You're the most loving person I've ever known!"

Sean shook his head, feeling himself close to tears. He tightened his arms around Elijah, hands moving gently over his back and hair. Tugging on the glossy locks to pull his face down.

Elijah smiled. "Kiss?" he asked softly.

"Kiss." Sean breathed. "Kiss."

Elijah's open mouth covered his and Sean's incredulous gasp parted his lips as well. These were not the gentle, healing baby kisses of such a short time ago. Elijah's mouth was hungrily devouring Sean's as though he could never have enough.

Sean choked off a cry. "Lij. Lijah." He gasped into Elijah's mouth. "Baby, please. Easy. Go slow."

He felt Elijah's head shake once, hard and fast.

No.

His hands grasped at Sean's hair as though he were drowning. He pressed his whole length against Sean, trembling uncontrollably, moaning his name over and over again.

Sean was engulfed in breathless, whimpering desire. His lips pressed scorching kisses against Elijah's throat. He felt Elijah's body arch against him in response and knew that it was already too late. Nothing on Earth would stop this now. All he could do was hang on and pray that nothing precious to him was destroyed in the wake of this passion. He was honest enough to admit that he'd wanted it for as long as he could remember. No turning back now. No thinking of anyone else. This was for him and for Elijah. This one night, at least, would be theirs.

"Lijah," Sean whispered, trying to ease Elijah back a bit.

"No," Elijah whimpered, clutching at him frantically. "No! No. Nononono. Won't stop. Oh. Can't. Seanie, please."

"No, baby. No," Sean comforted, rocking him gently. "I don't want to stop. Bed. Lij. Lets go to bed. No room here. Too many clothes. I want you in bed. Bed. Bed Bed." Sean moaned this last, dragging Elijah to his feet.

They stumbled to the bedroom, half-blind with desire, and tore their clothes off between kisses that left both of them gasping.

Elijah pushed Sean, backward, into his bed and threw himself on top of him, grinding their bodies together. "Sean!" he cried wildly. "Oh, please, Sean. Please."

The feeling of Elijah's naked body pressed against his was more than Sean could bear. Half-delirious, he felt it all going. In another moment it would be over and Sean couldn't stand that. He grabbed Elijah in a bear hug and spun him around until he lay underneath Sean's body.

"Elijah!" he whispered. "Baby, shhhh!" With the weight of his body he forced Elijah to cease his wild movement. Forced him to stillness, though he could feel Elijah's body trembling uncontrollably.

He took Elijah's face in his hands. "Look at me." he murmured. He saw the miraculous blue eyes look up into his. A little too wild. A little too bright. But filled with love and trust. Sean smiled down at him.

"Breathe, Lijah." he whispered. "Breathe with me."

He leaned his mouth against Elijah's and took a deep breath. "Breathe." he murmured against his mouth. "Breathe. Slow, baby. Slow. I want this to last."

He felt Elijah's body answer him. His breathing was ragged, but deep. Sean felt him relax into the rhythm of their breathing and he began to slowly rock against Elijah's body.

"Lijah. Lijah." he murmured, never for a moment taking his eyes away from Elijah's. They gazed at each other with eyes that penetrated as deeply as the breaths they were taking. Their bodies rocked together without the desperate passion of a few minutes ago. Instead they were joined in love. In longing too, but this was more than physical. Each of them felt transcended by the love they felt for each other.

"Perfect." Sean said in his ear. "Oh, god, so perfect."

"Oh, Sean," Elijah breathed. "Can you feel it?"

"Tell me." Sean said softly.

"We're one." Elijah said with a catch in his voice. "One soul. I can feel it. Oh, Sean. I love you so much."

As if in proof of this, they both suddenly clung to each other with renewed joy. Drinking each other in with eyes, mouths, hands, bodies until their climax overcame them both. Shuddered through their bodies as they cried out each other's name.

Sean took his weight off Elijah and gathered him close to his side as he felt his trembling body begin to relax. Elijah turned into his shoulder and began to tremble violently, his teeth chattering, his hands clutching at Sean's arms.

"Lijah?" Sean asked, suddenly frightened. "Oh, baby, what's wrong? Did I hurt you somehow?"

"God, no," Elijah maoned against him. He tried to speak and failed, burying his head against Sean's shoulder.

"Hold me," he finally choked out. "Just hold me for a minute."

Sean held him as tight as he could. Soothing his shaking body and stroking his hair until the trembling ceased and Eijah quieted in his arms.

When his breathing was nearly normal, Elijah turned to Sean, looking up into his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he breathed. "I didn't mean to make you think anything was wrong. It's just . . . just that . . ." He controlled himself with an obvious effort. "It's just that I've never felt anything like that before. I didn't know anything could feel like that. That I could feel that close to anyone."

Sean kissed him again and again. "I know." he said gently. "I feel the same way. I want you to know this. I never have . . . never will . . . feel this with anyone else. This is ours. Just ours."

Elijah looked up at him with absolute trust.

"I don't know for sure what's going to happen, Lijah" Sean said softly. "I don't know how long it'll be before we feel this again. But I do know that I'll love you until I die."

Elijah snuggled into his neck, sighing deeply. "If I've got that . . . I've got everything."

Hush, close your eyes  
And I'll keep you safes  
Allow you to weep  
And sing you to sleep

Don't be afraid  
Remember I'm here

October Project - Eyes of Mercy


End file.
